Carless With Child in Lower Merion - Yes, it is Possible!

After a week of driving from client to client, driving my kids around, getting caught in the Presidential motorcade (who even knew he was in town?), unable to put air in my low tire (that I cannot afford to replace right now) because there were always other people doing the same thing, paying 50.00 to fill my tank with gas, receiving a notice that my car insurance policy was set to cancel because I forgot to pay one bill (!), and having one of our two cars be on its death bed, I was ripe for a happy story about living in the suburbs with kids and without a car. So, I settled down on my friend Alana’s couch in her cozy apartment in Ardmore and asked her to tell her “car-free and lovin’ it” story. Here it is:

Alana and her husband, Jim, moved from Brooklyn to Ardmore with their then-15 month old in the summer of 2012.  Jim had asked for and received a transfer in his company to a job in Philadelphia so the family could be closer to his mother and brother who live in West Philly.  Alana, who is not a native of this area, was primarily in charge of finding an apartment for them to move into to. Jim and Alana did not have a car when they lived in Brooklyn, so it wasn’t as simple as hopping in the car on the weekends and coming down to Philly to look for an apartment.   Having no real sense of what “ Main Line” meant (a blessing maybe), she typed in “Cricket Ave, Ardmore” in her internet search for an apartment, simply because she had heard of Milkboy from her brother-in-law and knew she liked it.   What came up was an old Craig’s list post about an apartment on Athens Avenue in Ardmore by Nancy Gold, owner of the King’s Collar in Ardmore, and an owner of some residential rentals (also a graduate of Philadelphia High School for Girls, unrelated, but so am I, so I had to mention it).   Alana contacted Nancy and Nancy said she had sold that property but would put Alana in touch with the current owner.  Alana asked her brother-in-law to go check the place out, as he had done for a few other apartments in the area, and when he said he liked it, Alana put down a deposit never having seen it. 

So the family packed up the rented U-Haul and moved to Ardmore.  They live close to Cricket Avenue near to what is now Melodies Café.  Alana said when she first moved here she felt like she was on vacation. When she walked to Suburban Square – “ so great, so clean and fancy.” I started asking Alana a lot of questions about how she does everything without a car but first  - why don’t they have a car?  Alana said she did have a car when she lived in New York for a while but once it died, they did not get another one and did not need it in Brooklyn.  The choice of Ardmore was a conscious choice so they would not need to buy a car.  The reasons are varied – it costs a lot of money to purchase, maintain, insure, and park a car; they live on a little street where there are no driveways for the house and you need a permit to park; it helps the environment; and they just do not want the hassle.    Jim works in Center City, so he takes the train. The family made a choice, even though it is frequently very financially tight, for Alana to stay home with their son while he was little. They live in a small apartment and live a simple lifestyle.  

Alana has created a very rich and varied world within walking or train distance from her house.  In fact, I met Alana, who is trained in modern dance, when she approached the Friends of Linwood Park about doing a community dance there.  She has since run three dance performances at Linwood and there are plans to expand the concept into an indoor dance class. Alana had also run a Clay Tots class at Nurture (now defunct) and will most likely start it up again soon at another local arts establishment.  She is creating opportunities for herself within walking distance.  Alana knows who the neighborhood regulars are and they know her.

Alana and her son go to Gymboree, they walk to the Ardmore Library, the pool, and Vernon Young Playground.  Her son now goes to Ardmore Methodist Preschool a few days a week. They walk to Jeanie’s Deli, the Tot Lot on Spring Ave., the Haverford College duck pond, and Linwood Park. They have taken the train from Ardmore Station to Bryn Mawr Station to go to Ludington Library or Arrowroot Natural Foods. On occasions that she has met friends at Ludington for story hour, she has received texts from them that they are running late because they had to circle around and find a parking spot.    The family will take the train to Wayne sometimes and go for dinner.  They take the train in town to go to the Academy of Natural Sciences

But what about food shopping? They do a lot of shopping at Trader Joe’s, the stroller laden with shopping bags.  They belong to a CSA (community sponsored agriculture), which delivers fresh veggies, fruit, cheese, and eggs to a neighbor in Ardmore once a week from June-November.  Alana discovered Fresh Direct grocery delivery for the bitter winter months when it may be challenging to shop with a toddler and a stroller.

What about the Zoo or the Please Touch Museum or those other places middle class kids from the suburbs are supposed to go to but there is no easy transit to?  There is another neighbor who observes the Jewish Sabbath and does not use her car from Friday eve to Saturday eve, so occasionally lets the family borrow the car to do those types of outings.  Alana has also gone a couple times to the Please Touch with other moms with cars, but her two –year- old, not used to riding in cars, tends to get car sick and vomited all over a nice friend’s BMW SUV.  Since then, they tend to be a little cautious when taking him in cars. Remember all those stories you hear about people loading their babies into cars to get them to sleep (or was that just in a car commercial?)?  Not this family! Which could lead to an interesting nature vs. nurture study and carless kids, but I digress…

As I mentioned before, Alana and Jim have family in West Philadelphia.  That family does not have a car either, but they will do Philly Car Share (which is now apparently Enterprise Car Share http://www.enterprisecarshare.com/car-sharing/program/haverford)

They will sometimes come and pick Jim and Alana and their son up for holidays or family dinners and both sides of the family will take the train and the trolley for visits.  It isn’t always easy with toddler in tow, but let’s face it, moms and dads all over the City of Philadelphia do it everyday.  It ain’t impossible.

Alana and Jim have no plans right now to get a car, but they aren’t ruling it out either.  As we all know, as children get older, they need to go to this lesson and that friend’s house  (who inconveniently does not live in the neighborhood).  But, need is relative and sometimes families have to make decisions based on resources they have.  I do know another mother in Ardmore who has three older children and does not have access to a car during the week.  But everyone knows she does not drive and the community supports it and knows her 8th grader may need a ride here or there or the mom may need a ride to an event at the school.  You will frequently see her and her three children on bikes or foot around the neighborhood. 

I, personally, did not get my driver’s license until I was 28 years old and had a child.  I have vivid memories of pushing my small son in his stroller in snow and cold to drop him off at preschool before I walked on to work.  They are good memories of time spent with my child that I wouldn’t ever trade.

Alana still feels like she is on vacation sometimes.  Since she lives near the soon-to-be-developed Cricket Lot, they may be looking for a new place to live to escape the dust and noise of construction.  But, you can bet the new place will still be next to a sidewalk, near the train, close to the parks, and in the Vacationland of Ardmore, PA.